During this tough recession many of my employed friends have asked me: How are you able to stay unemployed?
Do you have what it takes? Simply answer these questions:
Do you have access to your Parent’s basement? Are you free of dependents? Do you enjoy the taste of top ramen? If you answered yes to all of these questions, you are fit to be unemployed.
Some key points I will be going over:
How to lose interview opportunities.
How to bomb the only interview you’ve had in a month.
How to make a spelling error in your resume.
Where to find a job (hint: craigslist.com).
How to apply for something you can’t even pronounce.
What to wear when inquiring into job openings.
How to incorrectly pronounce the name of the secretary that’s handling your application for employment.
How to accidentally call your interviewer a lesbian.
Tired of getting paid? No problem. Be unemployed.
2009 Graduate of the University of Oregon School of Journalism and Communication