During this tough recession many of my employed friends have asked me: How are you able to stay unemployed?
Do you have what it takes? Simply answer these questions:
Do you have access to your Parent’s basement? Do you not have any dependents? Do you like the taste of top ramen? If you answered yes to all of these questions, you are fit to be unemployed.
Some key points I will be going over:
How to not get an interview.
How to bomb the only interview you’ve had in a month.
How to make a spelling error in your resume.
Where to find a job (hint: craigslist.com).
How to apply for something you can’t even pronounce.
What to wear to ask for an application for employment.
How to incorrectly pronounce the name of the secretary that’s handling your application for employment.
How to accidentally call your interviewer a lesbian.
Tired of getting paid, no problem. Be unemployed.
2009 Graduate of the University of Oregon School of Journalism and Communication